[ti:The Slim Shady]
[ar:Artist name here]
[la:uk]

[00:02.00]Meet Eddie, twenty-three years old.
[00:04.00]Fed up with life and the way things are going,
[00:07.00]he decides to rob a liquor store.
[00:09.00]("I can't take this no more, I can't take it no more homes")
[00:11.00]But on his way in, he has a sudden change of heart.
[00:13.00]And suddenly, his conscience comes into play...
("Shit is mine, I gotta do this.. gotta do this")

[Dr. Dre]
[00:17.00]Alright, stop! (Huh?)
[00:18.00]Now before you walk in the door of this liquor store
[00:20.00]and try to get money out the drawer
[00:22.00]You better think of the consequence (But who are you?)
[00:24.00]I'm your motherfuckin conscience

[Eminem]
[00:26.00]That's nonsense!
[00:27.00]Go in and gaffle the money and run to one of your aunt's cribs
[00:30.00]And borrow a damn dress, and one of her blonde wigs
[00:33.00]Tell her you need a place to stay
[00:34.00]You'll be safe for days if you shave your legs with an aged razor blade

[Dr. Dre]
[00:38.00]Yeah but if it all goes through like it's supposed to
[00:40.00]The whole neighborhood knows you and they'll expose you
[00:43.00]Think about it before you walk in the door first
[00:45.00]Look at the store clerk, she's older than George Burns

[Eminem]
[00:48.00]Fuck that! Do that shit! Shoot that bitch!
[00:51.00]Can you afford to blow this shit? Are you that rich?
[00:53.00]Why you give a fuck if she dies? Are you that bitch?
[00:56.00]Do you really think she gives a fuck if you have kids?

[Dr. Dre]
[00:59.00]Man, don't do it, it's not worth it to risk it! (You're right!)
[01:01.00]Not over this shit (Stop!) Drop the biscuit (I will!)
[01:04.00]Don't even listen to Slim yo, he's bad for you
[01:07.00](You know what Dre? I don't like your attitude..)

{sound of static}

[01:11.00]("It's alright c'mon, just come in here for a minute")
("Mmm, I don't know!")
[01:15.00]("Look baby..")
("Damn!")
[01:17.00]("Yo, it's gonna be alright, right?")
("Well OK..")

[announcer]
[01:19.00]Meet Stan, twenty-one years old. ("Give me a kiss!")
[01:21.00]After meeting a young girl at a rave party,
[01:23.00]things start getting hot and heavy in an upstairs bedroom.
[01:26.00]Once again, his conscience comes into play... ("Shit!")

[Eminem]
[01:31.00]Now listen to me, while you're kissin her cheek
[01:32.00]and smearin her lipstick, I slipped this in her drink
[01:35.00]Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little bitch's earlobe..
[01:38.00](Yo! This girl's only fifteen years old
[01:41.00]You shouldn't take advantage of her, that's not fair)
[01:44.00]Yo, look at her bush.. does it got hair? (Uh huh!)
[01:47.00]Fuck this bitch right here on the spot bare
[01:49.00]Til she passes out and she forgot how she got there
[01:52.00](Man, ain't you ever seen that one movie _Kids_?)
[01:54.00]No, but I seen the porno with SunDoobiest!
[01:57.00](Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail?)
[01:59.00]Man fuck that, hit that shit raw dawg and bail..

{sound of static}
{pickup idling, radio playing}

[announcer]
[02:09.00]Meet Grady, a twenty-nine year old construction worker.
[02:12.00]After coming home from a hard day's work,
[02:16.00]he walks in the door of his trailer park home
[02:18.00]to find his wife in bed with another man.
[02:22.00]("WHAT THE FUCK?!?!")
("Grady!!")

[Dr. Dre]
[02:23.00]Alright calm down, relax, start breathin..

[Eminem]
[02:26.00]Fuck that shit, you just caught this bitch cheatin
[02:28.00]While you at work she's with some dude tryin to get off?!
[02:31.00]FUCK slittin her throat, CUT THIS BITCH'S HEAD OFF!!!

[Dr. Dre]
[02:33.00]Wait! What if there's an explanation for this shit?
[02:36.00](What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?!)
[02:38.00]Alright Shady, maybe he's right Grady
[02:41.00]But think about the baby before you get all crazy

[Eminem]
[02:44.00]Okay! Thought about it, still wanna stab her?
[02:47.00]Grab her by the throat, get your daughter and kidnap her?
[02:49.00]That's what I did, be smart, don't be a retard
[02:52.00]You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped DEE BARNES??!

[Dr. Dre]
[02:55.00]What'chu say? (What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember?)
[02:57.00]I'ma kill you motherfucker!

[Eminem]
[02:59.00]Uhhh-aahh! Temper temper!
[03:00.00]Mr. Dre? Mr. N.W.A.?
[03:02.00]Mr. AK comin' straight outta Compton y'all better make way?
[03:05.00]How in the fuck you gonna tell this man not to be violent?

[Dr. Dre]
[03:08.00]Cause he don't need to go the same route that I went
[03:10.00]Been there, done that.. aw fuck it...
[03:13.00]What am I sayin? Shoot em both Grady, where's your gun at?

{gun fires, is cocked, and re-fired}