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[00:00.00]第一次做,可能有问题,希望大家喜欢
[00:01.98]Okay children quiet down, quiet down孩子们安静下来,安静下来
[00:05.12]Children I'd like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day孩子们我很乐意介绍一下我们新的代课老师
[00:09.53]His name is Mr. Shady 他的名字叫Shady
[00:11.87]Children quiet down please孩子们请安静下来
[00:14.36]Brian don't throw that (SHUT UP!)Brian不要扔东西(闭嘴)
[00:15.54]Mr. Shady will be your new substituteShady先生将在Kaniff先生
[00:20.39]Good luck Mr. ShadyShady先生,祝你好运
[00:22.25]Hi there little boys and girls (FUCK YOU!)小男孩小女孩们大家好(FUCK YOU!)
[00:23.70]Today we're gonna to learn how to poison squirrels今天我们我们学学怎么去毒害松鼠
[00:26.48]But first, I'd like you to meet my friend Bob (Huh?)但是首先,我先带你们认识我的朋友Bob(哼)
[00:28.64]Say hi Bob! (Hi Bob) Bob's 30 and still lives with his mom说你好Bob(你好Bob)Bob三十岁,仍然和他的母亲住在一起
[00:32.03]and he don't got a job, cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot他从来没有工作过,原因是Bob闲坐在家抽烟壶
[00:33.87]but his twelve-year old brother looks up to him an awful lot他的最大的12岁的弟弟把他当成最大的灾难
[00:37.50]And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spotBob经常光顾当地肮脏的场所
[00:39.49]and wait in the parking lot for waitresses off the clock经常在停车场等待女服务生下班
[00:42.14]when it's late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog当天色渐渐暗下来,他就装成和狗散步
[00:45.28]Drag 'em in the woods and go straight to the chopping blocks (AHH!)扯拽她们进到森林里面,直接将她们砍成肉块
[00:47.59]And even if they escaped and they got the cops即使她们能够逃脱找到警察
[00:50.16]the ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the charge女人们必将害怕,也将放弃指控
[00:53.11]'til one night Mrs. Stacey went off the job直到有一天Stacey夫人去工作
[00:55.22]when she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talk她感觉有人抢她东西,虽然看不到对方的脸,对方也没有说话
[00:58.22]But Stacey knew it was Bob and said knock it off但她知道是Bob,她让他停止作为
[01:00.78]But Bob wouldn't knock it off cause he's crazy and off his rocker但是Bob并不停止,他太疯狂了
[01:03.23]Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka比Shady更加疯狂的是伏特加酒
[01:05.70]You couldn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a Dr.你甚至不能不给他一个专家的称号
[01:08.72]He grabbed S tace' by the legs as chopped it off her他抢了Stacey并将她的腿砍掉
[01:11.29]and dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her他把她扔进了河里以便警察找到她
[01:13.96]But ever since the day Stacey went off to wander自从Stacey 去散步
[01:16.65]they never found her, and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner他们一直没有找到她, Bob仍然盯着在这里吃饭的客人
[01:19.20]And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana,那个是Bob和他的大麻的故事
[01:21.69]and what it might do to you 你想到了什么
[01:23.46]So see if the squirrels want any - it's bad for you 如此看来如果灰鼠想要什么- 对于你来说是不好的
[01:25.44]See children, drugs are bahhhd (c'mon) 孩子们,大麻太可怕了
[01:27.41]and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (ask him man) 如果你们不相信我,可以问问他
[01:30.34]and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (that's right)如果你们不相信他,去问问他的妈妈
[01:32.59]She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (she will)她将告诉你她一直怎么做的
[01:35.10]So kids say no to drugs (that's right)所以孩子们不要吸食大麻(对)
[01:38.13]So you don't act like everyone else does (uh-huh)所以你们不要跟别人一起吸食(是)
[01:40.62]Then there's really nothin else to say (sing along)没有其他的可说了(独唱)
[01:43.17]Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?大麻是公害,明白了?
[01:45.92]My penis is the size of a peanut, have you seen it?我的阳物只有花生般大小,你们看到了吗?
[01:48.66]FUCK NO you ain't seen it, it's the size of a peanut (Huh?)有没有性交你没有看到,这只有花生般大小
[01:51.42]Speakin of peanuts, you know what else is bad for squirrels?说到花生,你们还知道其他对松鼠不好的吗?
[01:54.67]Ecstasy is the worst drug in the world销魂是世界上最坏的药物
[01:56.37]If someone ever offers it to you, don't do it如果某人为您曾经提供它, 不要做它
[01:58.72]Kids two hits'll probably drain all your spinal fluid如果两个小孩的话,他的精液将流失
[02:01.68]and spinal fluid is final, you won't get it back并且不能找回来
[02:04.18]So don't get attached, it'll attack every bone in your back 所以别沾上毒品,它会粘上你背后所有的骨头
[02:06.53]Meet Zach, twenty-one years old看看Zach,21岁
[02:09.07]After hangin out with some friends at a frat party, he gets bold在一次聚会之后,他胆子大了,决定去试一下。
[02:12.03]and decides to try five, when he's bribed by five guys当他由五个人贿赂每次将赢取,
[02:14.62]and peer pressure will win every time you try to fight it尝试与它战斗
[02:17.65]Suddenly, he starts to convulse and his pulse goes into hyperdrive突然,他开始抽筋,脉搏跳得很快
[02:20.89]and his eyes roll back in his skull {blblblblblb}他的眼睛滚动在他的头骨里
[02:22.65]His back starts tah - look like the McDonald's Arches他的后背看上去就想麦当劳的标志的那个拱门
[02:25.60]He's on Donald's carpet, layin horizontal barfin {BLEH}他在Donald的地毯上,
[02:27.39]And everyone in the apartment starts laughin at him所有人都开始讥笑他
[02:30.18]Hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, look at him!嗨亚当,Zach是个傻瓜,看他
[02:32.62]cause they took it too, so they think it's funny他们采取了它, 因此他们认为它滑稽
[02:35.36]So they're laughing at basically nothing except maybe wasting his money如此他们嘲笑基本上没什么,除了可能浪费他的金钱
[02:38.03]Meanwhile, Zach's in a coma, the action is over同时,Zach昏迷了,行动结束。
[02:40.30]and his back and his shoulders hunched up like he's practicin yoga并且他的背部和他的肩膀弯成拱状如他在做普拉提瑜伽
[02:43.56]And that's the story of Zach, the ecstasy maniac这是Zach的故事
[02:45.85]So don't even feed that to squirrels class, cause it's bad for you如此甚而不要哺养那对灰鼠组, 它对你不利
[02:49.57]See children, drugs are bahhhd (c'mon) 孩子们,大麻太可怕了
[02:51.79]and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (ask him man)如果你们不相信我,可以问问他
[02:53.91]and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (that's right)如果你们不相信他,去问问他的妈妈
[02:56.20]She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (she will)她将告诉你她一直怎么做的
[02:59.08]So kids say no to drugs (that's right)所以孩子们不要吸食大麻(对)
[03:01.93]So you don't act like everyone else does (uh-huh)所以你们不要跟别人一起吸食(是)
[03:04.53]Then there's really nothin else to say (sing along)没有其他的可说了(独唱)
[03:07.56]Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?大麻是公害,明白了?
[03:09.61]And last but not least, one of the most humungous最后但不是最小的, 在今天的年轻人
[03:13.19]problems among young people today, is fungus当中最重要的一个问题,是从母牛肥料
[03:15.43]It grows from cow manure, they pick it out, wipe it off,增长的真菌。他们采摘它,
[03:17.90]bag it up, and you put it right in your mouth and chew it抹它,用袋子把它装起来,还把它放进嘴里咀嚼它
[03:20.57]Yum yum! Then you start to see some dumb stuff哇!真美味!然后你开始去看一些索然无味的材料
[03:23.15]And everything slows down when you eat some of 'em..当你吃着他们的时候所有的行为都停滞下来了。
[03:26.47]And sometimes you see things that aren't there (Like what?)并且您有时看到的东西并不在那里(是这样的吗?)
[03:28.79]Like fat woman in G-strings with orange hair像一个橙色头发的肥胖妇女穿着遮羞布
[03:31.11](Mr. Shady what's a G-string?) It's yarn Claire(Mr. Shady什么是遮羞布)就是纱衣
[03:33.70]Women stick 'em up their behinds, go out and wear 'em (Huh?)女人披上它,出去时候也穿着
[03:37.02]And if you swallow too much of the magic mushrooms如果你吃太多的魔术蘑菇
[03:39.68]Whoops, did I say magic mushrooms?哎呦,我刚才说魔术蘑菇?
[03:42.05]I meant fungus Ya tongue gets, all swoll up like a cow's tongue (How come?)我意思是真菌,就会长得像母牛的舌头
[03:45.97]cause it comes from a cow's dung (Gross!!)因为它来自于母牛的粪便
[03:47.95]See drugs are bad, it's a common fact看看大麻是坏的,是个普通的犯罪行为
[03:49.45]But your mom and dad, know that's all that I'm good at (Oh!)但是你的爸妈知道那时我擅长的
[03:52.50]But don't be me, cause if you grow up and you go and O.D.但是不要跟我一样,因为你长大成人
[03:55.11]They're gonna come for me and I'ma have to grow a goatee他们将向我袭击,我只能长了山羊胡子做我的伪装,将我掩藏起来。
[03:57.65]and get a disguise and hide, cause it'll be my fault因为这是我的过错
[04:00.39]So don't do drugs, and do exactly as I don't,所以不要吸毒,
[04:02.53]cause I'm bad for you 因为我对你是有害的
[04:04.10]See children, drugs are bahhhd (c'mon)孩子们,大麻太可怕了
[04:06.23]and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (ask him man)如果你们不相信我,可以问问他
[04:08.86]and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (that's right)如果你们不相信他,去问问他的妈妈
[04:11.14]She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (she will)她将告诉你她一直怎么做的
[04:14.14]So kids say no to drugs (that's right)所以孩子们不要吸食大麻(对)
[04:16.86]So you don't act like everyone else does (uh-huh)所以你们不要跟别人一起吸食(是)
[04:19.82]Then there's really nothin else to say (sing along)没有其他的可说了(独唱)
[04:22.17]Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?大麻是公害,明白了?
[04:25.40]Come on children, clap along (SHUT UP!)快点孩子们,鼓掌
[04:27.31]Sing along children (Suck my motherfuckin dick!)独唱了,孩子们(我TMD的小JJ太失败了)
[04:29.64]Drugs are just bad, drugs are just bad (South Park is gonna sue me!)大麻太坏了,太坏了
[04:31.73]So don't do drugs (Suck my motherfuckin penis!)所以不要吸毒
[04:34.11]so there'll be more for me (Hippie! God damnit!)那么将得到更多东西
[04:42.91](Mushrooms killed Kenny! fart Ewww, ahhh!)
[04:50.74](So, fucked up, right now..)

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